Month: July 2014

 Wednesdays continue to be rather rough days. today, I had to take Chandler to the vet. Just for a check up. You were looking out for him, he is in good health, just heavy. He needs less to eat. I was shaking when I pulled my car in. Thankfully, we were put in a different room than when we took you that dreadful day. I miss you so much! So today, I got a wonderful thank you gift from Esther and Snoop for sending your harness to them. See, we are not forgetting you. Then something really strange happened. I usually get on the forum with my tablet, but today, I used my computer. when it started to come up, the song from the Angel Tribute started playing. Just for a few seconds, but enough that I recognized it. So of course, I HAD to go back and search for it so I could watch it again. Still cry like a baby the whole way through it. I still wish I could have you back, but I will have to just wait until I join you someday to hug you again. I will let you jump on me all you want and I will kiss those velvety soft ears. Keep sending me signs that you are still here with me. My heart still hurts a lot and I need them. Miss and Love you my shiny boy. Love Mommy

 

Today is 3 month since That awful day I had to set you free from your hurting body. I miss you so! I saw this picture this week and I really like it. I can see you running to the front and jumping on me just like the dog in this picture. I think I miss your Lab lean the most…no your eyes……no, your happy tail……no your shoe stealing…….no, your velvet ears……no, your snuggles. I think I want to order a blanket so I can wrap myself up next to your picture. I heard this sound coming from the dryer yesterday. Tick, tick, tick, almost the rythymic sound your tail used to make, only I could tell it was change. It just sounded a lot faster than change sounds in the dryer. There were 2 pennies and a dime in there. From you? I like to think so. I keep looking my boy. I really do. My heart still hurts a lot. I hope you are having a great time where you are. Look for Muffin, Bingo and Butterscotch. They were before you but with you now. Teagan also you 2 were good friends. I will have a few cats purring at my feet when I get to Heaven also. I was a window today that was stained glass, it depicted animals and children romping in Heaven. I will post it another time, it is still just on my camera. You have such a wonderful soul, I have to believe that it still exists somewhere and I will hug your neck again. That is the only way I can get through this. It is so hard, you went to the bridge on April 16th, also my Dad’s Birthday. My 3 rd Granddaughter was born on May 16th so I definitely know when your month angel anniversaries are. Bittersweet. my Granddaughter is another month older and you have been gone yet another month. Sometimes I still get the feeling, like a very small inkling that you will be there when I am coming home from somewhere. Ugh, then the reality hits. I love you my big, sweet boy, always will, Mommy

I had found 3 flat stones a few weeks ago. I knew I wanted to do something with them for your memory garden, but I was not exactly sure what that was. For some reason, I kept putting it off. I thought about, My TY GUY, I love Ty and even I <3 u. I just left them sit in the garage. Today has been a rough one for me buddy. I am not so sure why. It is not an anniversary of anything. I am just missing you so much today. I have gotten out your box and held your collar to my face and buried my nose into your bag of fur and bawled my eyes out. Funny, nowhere else could I admit I did this. I sat outside on the rock beside your garden and it hit me. I had found 3 rocks. I knew exactly what I would do with them.  The plaque has been in there since I made the garden, but I don’t think the inscription was readable. So true! Hurts, but it is so true.  I have found pennies and dimes for the last 2 days. This morning the soap wrapper was drug out of the trash. I know Lucy was probably the culprit, but it made me think of you. Oh, to hug you again. To feel those ears of silk, to see those kind eyes looking at me. I hope you are having the time of your life at the bridge. I now know when I get the courage and knowhow to make your tribute slideshow, that is the song I am going to use. (I hope you have the time of your life!) Just hit me now, that is what I will use. I love you TY Guy!

    Not perfect by any means. I am a menace with a hot glue gun! I think he would like it though. I knew it HAD to include shoes. And of course, angel wings since he was an angel on earth and is now an angel in heaven. It wound up too stiff to tie because I hot glued shoe ribbon to the back to cover the stitching. I am not a master sewer either. So, I glued another piece to tie onto leash. The heart is for the piece of my heart that will always be his. I love that he will be remembered in this way. Making things for him is therapeutic in some strange way. It says that he existed and mattered to someone. My neighbor named his new dog Atom. He explained it yesterday….He matters! An atom is matter. Cute! Ty mattered to me and I love him, that is a pretty good thing for a dog to get to say about his life here on earth. I still miss him so tremendously and can tear up so easily. So here is to you TY!!!! Your Tribute Ribbon, Mommy loves and misses you!