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Ty's blog

10 weeks and feels like yesterday:(

June 25th, 2014 · 5 Comments · Uncategorized

DSC_0068DSC_0072DSC_0071DSC_0070DSC_0069 Ty it has been 10 weeks today that you have not been physically here. My heart still hurts a lot and I am just beginning to accept the reality that you are not coming back. Most days I feel as if everyone else has moved on and I am somehow stuck. I finished, well almost finished, your scrapbook. I have found a few more pictures to add. I am afraid to get another Puppy because he wont be you. There will never be another TY and I have to face that fact. It is not a fair expectation to place on another dog. You were one of a kind my boy. I am sending Lucy and Chan to the doggie hotel soon and I am so nervous. Losing you has placed new fears in me. You always had such a good time there except I think your jumping could get a bit much. You watch over them ok? Please send me a picture, a penny or a dime and let me know you are ok. I found a 4 leaf clover from the lawn mower the other day. From you? I just looked down and there it was. I miss you as much today as when you first left. It is in some ways not as raw a pain, but it hurts as much because the permanence of this is setting in. I will never hug your neck again on earth and that makes me feel scared and sad.  The only thing that brings me any comfort at all is the fact that you no longer have pain. I am so very sorry it took me so long to accept that you were not going to beat this. These are a few pages from the scrapbook, will post more another day. Miss and love you my boy, Mommy

 

 

 

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5 Comments so far ↓

  • benny55

    My Dear, Sweet, Lori. I’m trying to jump through the screen to hug you right now……I shed tears with you. I know it still hurts so badly and you do feel like your world has stopped while everyone else is moving on. Yep, we all understand.

    Lori, TY wanted you to keep trying for him…He wanted more time with you and every single thing you did was in his best interest. And he did have more quality withnyou, more shoe chewing time and more spoiling and loving. To Ty, it was ALL worth it!

    Your scrapbook is PERFECT!!! OMD!! The ‘puppy love’ picture and the M ones with he and Can on the sofa butt to butt , delightful!!

    I’m so angry at myself. As you know, at the VA Tripawd pawty I had the little “Celebration of Life” memoral table set up. I had an old flip flop that I was going to put on the table next to a candle so you would see it! The message would be unmistakable as far as who that particular candle was for!

    So I wemt to Plan B. f you go back and look at the picture, you’ll see a sparkly black lab wanna be “dog” next to a candle. I lit that one with Ty in my heart for you. Ty will never be forgotten! Your bond with Ty will always be legendary here.

    I’m so glad you are putting that scrapbook together and I thank you for sharing it with us. I keep scrolling back up to look at it and smile as I review each picture. Our dogs were so much more than the amputation scenarios. Your pictures remind us of that.. Oh, and I noticed to changed his avatar pic….so cute….This Ty Guy does indeed have the most soulful eyes on the planet!

    I just want to add one thing about a puppy….and this is just my experience only…….yeah, we’re gonna make comparisons no matter what. But with a puppy, it’s just so different…..they are so different! We’re used to mature, well-behaved dogs who understand boundaries, etc. Puppies are night and day different! They are just so darn goofy! Myrtle is a different color than my Happy Hannah and, perhaps M if M you got a chocolate lab pup, or a yellow….anyway, I think you’ll find the “comparisons” won’t be nearly as strong with a puppy. And, for me, when I do see similarities it gives me warm fuzzier and I feel like it’s Happy Hannah teaching her how to work the cuteness factor on me!

    Look forward to seeing g more photos of that handsome Ty. You’ve really put together a lovely treasure! Of course, when you have a “treasure named Ty” to work with…it’s easy!!

    Sending you love and lots of hugs!!

    Sally and Happy Hannah

  • mom2shelby

    Oh Lori…. I know all too well how you feel! That permanence thing is awful. I still ache for Shelby every day but it’s not that raw feeling but it’s a punch in the gut every morning when I wake up. I stare at her photos and I long to smell her one more time, kiss those ears, scratch that booty. Last week was so hard for me (as you know). And you know that Jasper is now here and while I do not love her – at all – I see a lot of Shelby coming out in her. She isn’t Shelby, per say but I want to believe Shelby is sending her guidance and telling her how to help me learn to like her a bit more.

    There will never be another Shelby. Shelby was my soul mate, the true love of my life… It breaks my heart to miss her daily BUT I know she is with me. I truly believe it. I feel her soul within me all the time. I feel her protecting me and I cannot wait till we are together again.

    Sending you so much love and hugs today. I know these weeks pass and the pain is hard. What a beautiful memorial for Ty. Ty knows how much loved he way!
    Alison & her Shelby

  • benny55

    Lori, these blogs go up and down so fast. I hope you’ll also post it in the forums so everyone can see your great scrapbook of that precious soul!

  • Ingrid

    I also find scrap books are a great way to heal. The pain of the loss never really goes away, you just learn to accept it. And you miss them and it is ok to cry. Every March 3, I have a good cry because that is when I lost my first horse. I try to remember my dogs on their birthdays and not the anniversary of their deaths but I still remember.

    There will never be enough hugs, smooches, or walks. It wouldn’t matter if you both lived to 100, your heart would just ache for just one more.

    When you bring another pup into the home, it is never to replace. You cannot replace a friend. But you are opening up your heart again, working to be more dog, live in the moment, and love with all your worth.

  • jerry

    Lori yes, do share that scrapbook, it is beautiful.

    Never feel like you let him down, you did your absolute best, he knows that. It’s part of the process to accept our loved ones’ physical presence is gone, but that doesn’t mean you love him any less. Your love will never fade away.

    I’m sure he’ll send you a signal, try not to worry about boarding Lucy and Chan, they’ll be fine. I hope you’re going somewhere fun.

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